it would of been the right thing to know when it happened so that i could of made the decision. not be lied too.
but it was kept from me.
and knowing this last year would have certainly meant i wouldn't of failed at that caertain attempt.
finding out on sunday, 4 days ago, is shattering.
it would of been any time to hear such a thing.
i cant eat and its hard for me to catch my breath.
my worst fear which i now realise was my overwhelming sense of intuition that made me sick, it was coz it was what actaully happened.
I feel liberated in a way now that it is all after 3 years of back and fourth out in the open and i feel i have closure.
Now that I can see you for what you are its not hard to mourn the loss of what I thought was love.
Im happy cause I know that means I havent met the one yet, it certainly wasn't you.
:) xxx
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