Existential Releif

I was given a comprehension assignment to look over, the passages were about technology like emails, mobile phones, the Internet etc.. a passage that stood out to me was as following

"If you live alone, if you suffer at times from an anxiety that you might not exist, email tempts you to behave neurotically- to pour into its appalling infiniteness a cataract, a hemorrhage of words, bottomless, boundary less. What feels like existential relief is in fact psychologically shallow, a dreadful meaningless leakage of self"

How true do you thing this is..?

I blog as do many other people..

Why don't we just type our 'blogs' onto a word document & save it for our own eyes.. why do we publish it online.. its not as if anyone but treason reads my posts..and its interesting to have a comment on the blog.. means someone read it.. why does this matter to us?

We are all just big babies starved of attention is my conclusion.. no I don't really mean that. I like the blogging.. it does feel good.. but I suppose alot of people have the same view as the author of the above paragraph.

ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHH

My long weekend was extremely uneventful as usual considering I am broke as a joke.

Being a student certainly involves some personal sacrifices...especially when I have been used to a full time job lifestyle since I was 17! I stayed in the whole weekend.. yawn

I am bored..so totally bored... call me superficial but no I do not find fulfillment in things that are free.. and whoever says they do obviously have the luxury of doing things that cost money in between life's free pleasures...there needs to be a balance so one can appreciate the other...since September 2008 it has been very lopsided when it comes to experiencing things.. I wanted to go see gyroscope-fail due to lack of funds... I want to have a night out... it has been soo long... although i am almost positive that once I am out I will complain to myself at how much I hate nightlife and the peoples behaviours around me..so what... never said I wanted to go out and love it... just a change in my mundane existence of late..

I'm heading into the city tonight to get some information on kids school holiday camps.they need volunteers for intellectually disabled children 6-18 years old to assist in activities over the school holidays.. I'm going to check it out as it's something new..

I am stressing about my exam results..massively... there was a source interpretation in my history exam that I had no idea who the cartoon was.. I assumed it was Stalin riding the peasants back as a depiction of his takeover of the Bolsheviks due to Lenin's death...I guessed all this because there was a headstone in the back round with the letter 'V' on it which i assumed stood for Vladimir which is Lenin's real name- i guessed it was about collectivisation & the 5 yr plan... o god... if it is not though- i have pretty much crapped on my exam paper about something that has nothing to do with the question...

If I fail this I will be pissed.. I have been so focused.. and so I should be... this is what I left the workforce to do & there is no excuses for me to fail..

I know they say you should try your best and that's what matters... that is a load of bullshit you say to primary school kids who aren't good at sports. In the real world of 'adult' life you either succeed or you don't, if it was all about giving it your best shot would you feel comfortable in letting a 15 year old biology student perform heart surgery on you as long as they were trying there best..? NO? I didn't think so....

Wow..accidental angry blog... this is why I rarely get in discussions... my natural passion usually scares people and sometimes I'm only emphasising sarcastic terms to prove a point and also to be humorous but generally it intimidates...