I find it hard to take the world seriously because of myself, the obvious factor of serious things being treated like there nothing, andd nothing gets treated like its serious, i find it hard to try and take things seriously because its important. i can see how things should be and how to make them that way yet constantly focus on the things i shouldn't be which leaves me exasperated, feeling this way and writing depressing whingey things that could be avoided.
I think I am smarter than what alot of people expect yet I cant strive and want the important things in life when i have found those who have these things almost always come up disappointing to me, especially when i am made to feel they are superior, more intelligent than myself, I lose respect for it espeecially if someone lacks the things I find important.
This attitude is my downfall, annoyed at authority/success/reccognition for being the way it is, I do not respect human nature that lacks kindness, honesty, respect - once I feel like someone is important respected and succesfull without these traits i really dont care to prove to them, myself or others that i can do it too, just wont care period ,then contradict myself by wanting more.
Trepidation has grown in strength over the years after many failures, lost goals, and set backs. I've become jaded and accepting of a cycle that obviously is the longest road to no where. I am terrified that I'm not cut out for being an adult, I care to much about what everyone doesn't and because no one else does It makes me care even less about fitting in and being a normal adult if it means not being who I am. I hope I'm exactly how I am supposed to be and all of this was the experiences where a part of what needed to happened to get to where I'm going to be.
At the end of the day its me who makes it like this by not being mature enough to make the decisions that will put things into action, it means changing me, I can never stay focused on myself without getting distracted and now I've winded up dejected and at a loss for not knowing what I want but knowing its not this. Bad Ashleigh.
I think I am smarter than what alot of people expect yet I cant strive and want the important things in life when i have found those who have these things almost always come up disappointing to me, especially when i am made to feel they are superior, more intelligent than myself, I lose respect for it espeecially if someone lacks the things I find important.
This attitude is my downfall, annoyed at authority/success/reccognition for being the way it is, I do not respect human nature that lacks kindness, honesty, respect - once I feel like someone is important respected and succesfull without these traits i really dont care to prove to them, myself or others that i can do it too, just wont care period ,then contradict myself by wanting more.
Trepidation has grown in strength over the years after many failures, lost goals, and set backs. I've become jaded and accepting of a cycle that obviously is the longest road to no where. I am terrified that I'm not cut out for being an adult, I care to much about what everyone doesn't and because no one else does It makes me care even less about fitting in and being a normal adult if it means not being who I am. I hope I'm exactly how I am supposed to be and all of this was the experiences where a part of what needed to happened to get to where I'm going to be.
At the end of the day its me who makes it like this by not being mature enough to make the decisions that will put things into action, it means changing me, I can never stay focused on myself without getting distracted and now I've winded up dejected and at a loss for not knowing what I want but knowing its not this. Bad Ashleigh.
Basically, you're me.
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